i made a soundcloud and have one thing on it but it is absolutely too much of a pain in the ass to record myself rn so i think im gonna just forget about that shit for a while

"A trencher was originally a flat round of bread used as a plate, upon which the food could be placed before being eaten.[1] At the end of the meal, the trencher could be eaten with sauce, but was more frequently given as alms to the poor."

imagine being some vagrant in Medieval Europe and people just giving you their used bread-plates. (via concepthuman)

(via plasmalogical)


cough up like 8 lung cancers and light a cigerert

(via depressedmom)

  • Me: I'm on a flight to you, pick me up from the airport?
  • Daddy: Deal.
  • Me: And then what? Go out for tea?
  • Daddy: If thats what you WANT to do, little one
  • Me: I could serve tea off a tray on my back.
  • Daddy: While I fuck you from behind?
  • Me: "Don't spill any, darling, that tea is hot"
  • Daddy: 😁
  • Me: Ohhh Daddy... I hunger for your man machine ;)
  • Daddy: Oh my little one... I thirst for your-
  • Voice: This is your captain speaking... We,uhhh, we're gonna run into some delays, as we're about to hit some major turbulence. Turbulence caused by me whooping that Daddy's ass. Over and out.
  • Me: Uh, Daddy, what was that about?
  • Daddy: *labored breathing* It's... it's him..." *the phone falls to the floor but the call hasn't been ended*
  • Me: Daddy? DADDY?!
  • Him: I'd like for everyone to remain seated, and to remain calm... everyone except for you.. *due to my soul-link with Daddy, I can tell the man is pointing to my daddy*.. this won't take long.
  • *the sounds of badass karate is heard. the distinctive sound of a Ghost Flip/ Vengeful Dog slam combo echos throughout the planes cabin, followed by the passengers all applauding, save for my daddy.. He weeps.
  • Him: Alright.. enough showing off *i hear him wink at the cute stewardess and flex* Let's deal with this unwanted cargo.
  • *The most brutal beatdown plays directly into my ears from the phone. An audible beatdown, too, that beats the dumb daddydom shit from my head... I drop the phone and leave, a changed person. As I walk away I hear the man I now know to be THEJORY-Vanquisher of DaddyDoms, throw Daddy out the plane.
  • THEJORY: No ticket
  • *A man is heard screaming "Indian Jones! HE QUOTED INDIANA JONES! the cabin erupts in applause. High fives and applause so loud it sets my phone on fire.*

I’m watching little nemo in slumberland for the first time since I was like four, and I’m gonna be pretty bummed if its not as cool as I remember